A New Perspective. I'm back! I know, it's been quite the absence--2 months. It hardly feels like that long but sadly, it's true. I've thought about posting a million times but never had the energy for it between treatments and resting, I was at the point of not being able to function because I was so tired. I've never had that kind of exhaustion before. Then as I was beginning to be less tired, my family and I went on vacation for a week and I have to tell you, it was the most fun I think I've ever had! We cruised the Caribbean and I wish I had some pictures to show you all but I forgot my camera and honestly, I was having too much fun to even think about taking pictures! It was the most refreshing week of my life. Not only was I having a blast, I felt better. I still ached but not nearly as much. I slept better, more deeply and longer without any waking up (which is probably why I felt better!) and I could breathe. Here, at home, with an altitude of over 5,000 feet, I get this tightness and burning in my chest, I feel like I can hardly breathe even after over 2 years of living here. This new-found solace I found on vacation was not because I was more relaxed, it was break and I had nothing to worry about here either, but because--I believe--the lower altitude, all of the oxygen I was getting compared to here. I was so excited, so thrilled that I was feeling better, I dreaded the thought of coming home. I didn't want to come back to this pain. I felt like the old me again.
When I did get home, I felt horrible. Worse than before I left, hurting like never before. For the couple weeks preceding my trip I was in a bad place. I was angry, upset, insanely emotional. I couldn't believe that I had had a taste of happiness, of feeling normal and wonderful, feeling like myself again, and now it was gone. It was ripped out from under me and I was back with this awful pain. I was negative, I was angry at the world, I didn't understand why it had to be this way.
One day it finally dawned on me, though. I can't go around being pissed at life. I can't be negative, I can't go around complaining and whining, why me, why this. I decided that being negative wouldn't help anything. It wouldn't help me, it wouldn't help my situation, and it wouldn't help anyone around me. I turned my perspective around, I made myself think positively. I didn't want to, it was so much easier being negative, but I knew I had to. I knew I had to believe that things would get better, that I would feel better, that I can't waste all of this precious time just being angry at something I can't control. I went to bed that night with a new determination, to be happy despite the circumstances, to believe that it would all get better.
When I woke up the next day, I swear I woke up with a smile on my face. I wanted to be happy, I made the decision to be happy. That day, I found a book of my dad's that has really changed my life since I started reading it. Every Day a Friday by Joel Osteen. With my new determination to be positive, this book was like a bright light. The lessons it teaches, even if you're not religious, will open your eyes. Osteen tells us that happiness is a choice and that we have what we need to be happy, whether it be our health or our family or our friends, anything. He says that we shouldn't wait to be happy, to say "I'll be happy when I get that promotion," "I'll be happy when so-and-so changes," or in my case, "I'll be happy when I feel better." You can't wait. You need to be happy now, choose to be happy right now, and the rest will follow.
I'm not even kidding you, within days things started looking up. I went to my doctor's appointment and my Neurolink appointment and do you know what they told me? The virus, causing my Fibromyalgia, was gone. GONE. I could feel it, too. I could feel a weight lifted off my system, an energy manifesting inside. The virus that I had so long tried to fight off with supplements and frequency treatments and Neurolink treatments and detoxing, was gone. It's amazing. At points in this long journey I thought this day would never come and here it is. When I changed my perspective, when I told myself that it would leave.
I'm not done yet, I still have muscle pain, the pattern of stress holding and muscles not repairing themselves needs work. But I'll get there. I know I will and I know that it's not far off. So soon I will be able to look back and see that I should have had this determination and positivity all along.
Anyway! I'm back everyone and I'm here to stay! I'm going to keep choosing to be happy because that's the best way to live! And I hope all of you will choose to be happy too.
Blouse: Jennifer Lopez
Jewelry: Forever 21
Shoes: American Eagle
Have a wonderful week everyone! I promise I'll be posting again real soon!